Don't Have to Die in the Bed

I don't have to die in the bed

don't have to die in the bed

I can do anything in this whole damn world 

but I don't have to die in the bed

I can do Haldol and Armor-all, Pine-sol and Geritol

Corvette, Mustang, Lexus & poontang

oxy and hydro, nitro and fibro

Beefaroni, canneloni, Rice-a-roni, pepperoni

Motorola, Coca-cola, rock-n'-rollin' ayatollah

Don't have to die in the bed

Don't have to die in the bed

I can do anything in this whole damn world 

But I don't have to die in the bed

I can do Percoset and Tagamet,Port-o-let, Letraset

Zantac and Xanax, Xyrtek and Tampax

Panax and Ex-lax, Timex and Sexwax

Nasdaq, Sanalac, gun rack, multitrack

Morphine, Ketamine, Liquid Plumber, Tang and Hummer

Don't have to die in the bed, etc...

(bridge)

I can do Ativan, Diovan, ampersand, campervan

Trilene, Visine, magazine, Ethylene

Codeine, Primatein, caffeine, nicotine

Downy and Bounty and downers and brownies

Methane, ethane, propane, novocaine

aniline, vitamin, theramin, Ionimine

Cortisone, Methadone, Acetone, pheromone

Petaluma, Catalina, melanoma, Pasadena

Pooper-scooper, super-duper Alley-oop or Gary Cooper

Don't have to die in the bed....etc

I can do Phen-fen, X-men, Valium and Aspirin

Advil, Placidil, any kind of pain pill

Tex-mex, Kleenex, Windex, Plavix

SUVs, TIAs, LTDs, PSAs

ACT, QVC, SAT, GED

MIT & RIP, Baby give it all to me!

Don't have to die in the bed, etc...

M@ 2009

..apologies to Johnny Cash.